short intro

This blog is about my journey so far... recovery from the years spent focusing only on individual details instead of the big picture. My new selves of the past are explained by this new big picture- and is quite strange to lose the layers of change I thought I had obtained. Further down the path of frustration and exhaustiong.... reaching out for that true self trapped behind stone of complex PTSD

Thursday, June 17, 2010


I've noticed in our current socially organized society, authority figures are hardly ever able to be held accountable... there's no protection for the common person subject to these various authorities. This is many times worse for someone who doesn't know how to navigate social situations.

Example: my drivers licence was suspended without my knowledge after I'd conceded to pay a no-insurance fine that I couldn't resolve with my insurance company who had screwed up the policy. Apparently in my state they also suspend your licence if that happens, requiring you to have your insurance carrier send them some ridiculous form certifying you are personally insured, that costs you a fee to them and to the drivers licence department of the state to get re-instated. So despite being insured even prior to the fine, I had to pay a fine and ended up being cited for driving on suspended licence one night when I was stopped for a headlight having gone out.

As a result I went in and pleaded not guilty to driving on suspended licence. They then began to subject me to an endlessly bureaucratic sequence where I'd be required to come back and have other hearings and a trial. I did not know how to navigate this scenario, so I never went back for these additional hearings as the entire proceeding seemed to be absurd and unwinnable, from my perspective as the wrongly accused. In my mind, this entire extension beyond my conceding to the fine was a cruel and unusual punishment, as without the permission to drive, it was essentially a prohibition against my entire livelihood as a person without any social connections to obtain carpooling or other means of travel to be employed. This state would rather I be unemployed and unable to contribute to society than accept my payment of the fine I was issued as full restitution for the supposed offense? How does this completely disabling penalty fit the actual original offense? They might as well just have thrown me into jail upon being stopped without my proof of insurance.

To date this remains unresolved for me. They have a "warrant" which gives them the right to arrest me and also deny me any tax refund that I'm owed, instead keeping it as "bail". However no one ever seems to take up the warrant and come take me to jail. I'm content with taking no further action, as I am not going to give these idiotic bureaucrats a valid reason to stop me out on the road, and anyway I don't drive like a maniac like every other inhabitant of this zealously insane state. The only way I can see it coming to a further negative outcome is if someone crashes into me, resulting in police involvement and likely discover of the circumstances.

  • Ultimately I've come to the feeling that the current laws exist mostly just as a source of income to the state, and aren't interested in being reasonable or fair. Most people just pay and comply, and it goes on and on like that. The state gets to choose what and when to enforce, and doesn't really care most times about speeding but can of course choose to stop someone on speeding when they feel like it to extract a fee from them.

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